My Date With Pinkie Pie

Three days after Spike burnt Chris into a crisp.

Outside Sugar Cube Corner...

Chris arrives right at the entrance. He pulls out an envelope, and pulls a picture of the Cube out.

Chris: This looks like the place....

We pull up and see a big banner over the door, with the message "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS".

Chris: *gulps* It's not even my birthday yet...this isn't going to end well. Not at all.

He steps into the door, and is instantly greeted with a shower of confetti, ribbons, and a horde of ponies celebrating his arrival, pulling him over their heads and creating a wave for him to ride.

Crowd of ponies: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

He's too terrified to even correct the error.

They all carry him all around the place, where he can see the huge cake, plenty of bowls filled with punch sitting on a table, and a pin the tail on the pony picture on a wall in the corner, that of Princess Luna. Clearly, done way in advance.

Chris: Hey, this is going great. (ponies stop moving) Oh come on, this is kind of fun!

They all drop him to the ground, landing on his back with a big THUD. He groans in pain, before sitting up to see what everypony else is looking at.

The ponies part in two masses, creating a middle ground with him right in it, all shuddering in fear. In the other direction, is the owner of the Element of Laughter herself, Pinkie Pie.

Despite the festivities, her mane and tail are deflated, flat. Her pink coat is more a mix between its native color and a shade of grey.

Pinkie Pie: (irritated) Hello...Chris.

Chris: Hey, what happened to you? You look better than ever! That mane should stick to being straight. I like it that way, much better than being curly.

All the other ponies gasp, looking to each other in fear.

Pony in crowd: You don't want to know why.

Chris: (whispering to crowd) Tell me.

He turns back to Pinkie, who is suddenly in his face. He lets out a small scream, but she covers his mouth with her hoof.

Pinkie: Do you like my...party? I did...it all for...you. I'm sure we'll have...so much fun...with each other. So...what are you waiting for?

Her game and mood are very obvious to him. He realizes this, and begins a mind game with the pony.

Chris: You to lead the way.

She's stunned, but still continues her charade.

Pinkie: Okie dokie lokie....but it's not a party with good music!

DJ P0N-3, out with a turntable machine inside the Cube, hears this and cheers. She sets the playlist going, and she gets to work on the turntable. It is a Eurodance beat.

From the first bass-heavy beat, Chris is hooked. He slowly gets to his feet and attempts to dance, but the back pain from his fall stops his shameful moves from getting airplay.

Chris: Oh man, you got some hard floors here.

Regardless of his chirpy attitude, Pinkie is still not impressed.

Pinkie: You look thirsty, how about some punch?

Chris: What flavor? I'm game for about anything not involving hay.

Pinkie: It's hay flavored.

He looks at the punch bowl. Gummy is swimming again in one of them again, and the punch is purple, clearly grape. Chris takes a cup, and even though there's another bowl where a croc hasn't been in, he pours some from Gummy's bowl, and drinks it, completely ignoring him altogether. Everypony gasps.

Chris: What are you talking about? It's grape! It's very grape! Which means it's very good. Are you...trying to not have a good time?

Her eyes twitch. She's going to have to try harder than this.

Pinkie: Oh my gosh, Chris. You really were thirsty, weren't you?

Chris: Of course. You asked in the first place. Why are you so surprised?

She points at the bowl. He turns, and finally notices Gummy in the bowl he drank out of. He gags slightly, but seeing Pinkie look on with a smile, he forces himself to swallow it in front of the crowd, which ushers a new choir of gasps in the crowd.

Chris: You know, considering what other people have tried to put in my Kool-Aid before, this isn't so bad.

He grabs a second drink from the other bowl. Then, the huge, three-layer cake grabs his attention. It is blue all around, with his face and "Happy Birthday Chris" on the top.

Chris: Oooh, this looks delicious! And I know you make some pretty good cakes. (slyly) Like the marble one you threw at me four days ago?

The pony knows he's cornering her.

Pinkie: (stammering) Oh come on, you know I was just being silly, even for Pinkie!

This is not stopping the crowd from looking at her with glaring eyes

Pinkie: In fact, we have so many cakes in here, how about we have a food fight!

Now this is helping matters. The crowd cheers at the idea.

Pinkie: Only one rule though. Before we start, somepony must throw that birthday cake on Chris, otherwise this party can't REALLY start.

Chris: Get out of the way, I'm winning this one!

He jumps headfirst into his own cake, icing getting everywhere on his shirt and head. The cake collapses to the table, and he lies there, eating the cake all over his body.

Chris: I win! You can't stop this!

Pinkie: Bu--But that was your birthday cake that I made myself!

Chris: IT'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY! It's like several months away.

The crowd can't believe his words.

Chris: Now, (eats a chunk of icing) I know that last party didn't go so well. I said you were kind of immature sometimes, your croc over there tried to bite me, and you wasted what was a good cake on me. Just so you know, you are a very fun pony at your best, and I believe your friends when they say you throw some pretty good parties. But does that justify all of this? You shouldn't aim for revenge, regardless how bad I hurt your feelings....um, Pinkie Pie...

She is undergoing...something, and immediately her mane and tail poof back out, her coat going to full pink.

Pinkie: Of course that was wrong! I should've known, my specialty is making my friends laugh! So...FOOD FIGHT!

The place erupts into a warzone. Tables are overturned for cover, everypony runs for cupcakes and muffins for ammo. They are instantly thrown all over the cafe, and Chris and Pinkie run for cover over by a table.

Chris: OK, we need a strategy here. There's icing going all over, and you don't want to look like me.

Pinkie: Right. There's a stack of muffins about 20 feet over there, go get them!

They both dash over to the muffin stand, opening the glass door and retrieving them, both getting 10 each. They get behind a counter and find a slingshot.

Chris: I'll get the muffins, you shoot!

Pinkie: Right ahead of you!

She starts shooting everypony foolish enough to stay in the open, and hits a pony right in the face. "Success!" Pinkie is joyed at the occasion, and is given a muffin instantly. There's a pegasus on the balcony, and is the next victim. She falls over the railing, but uses her wings to stop her descent, and flies for cover.

Chris: Oh my gosh, this is chaos incarnate! We need a cake now! Look, there's another cake on that cartwheel! Use that, and we'll dominate!

Pinkie: Let's do this!

They get one side of the cake wheel, and push it down the room. Everypony runs away from it, screaming and running for their lives.

Mrs. Cake comes out of the kitchen, with her own cake on a moving table.

Mrs. Cake: Well, I hope you're hungry for seco--by Celestia, what is this?

The place is a complete mess. There's icing and crumbs all over, and before she can react, Chris and Pinkie's cake collides with hers, both toppling on the store owner, collapsing to the ground in a flurry of sugary goodness.

Everypony stops, frozen as Mrs. Cake recovers. This isn't going to end well.

Mrs. Cake: What is the meaning of this? Pinkadema Diane Pie....

Pinkie: Yes...Mrs. Cake?

Mrs. Cake: Did you start this?

Pinkie answers with silence. She's guilty and knows it.

Mrs. Cake: I want your date and friends all out of here, and clean this mess up yourself. I worked hard to keep this place clean, and so will you, it looks.

Pinkie: OK...(turns to Chris) I'll guess I'll see you later?

Chris: Hopefully. It looks like this will take a while...this was still a fun party, though. Thanks for everything.

Pinkie: Don't mention it...you're right...it will be some time before this place sparkles again...

Chris departs out the door, along with the crowd. Everypony leaves positive remarks to Pinkie as they go out the exit, leaving the place with a pony, her pink coat blending in with the icing all over her mane.